Its been a long time since I updated. This entry won't have much in it as it is anyway. The semester ended. I came home...I work temp jobs because my internship fell through. I want a second tattoo and a tongue ring. I am still growing inside but I feel dead at times too...mostly due to my friends. They don't know who I am sometimes and it pisses me off. I made myself a reputation for being violent, only because it fit in with some jokes but then it got old. i got tired of it because i'm really not violent but i kept getting dragged into it and i hate it. now speaking violently is a part of me. i'm not myself to be honest, with my friends sometimes. I get bored with the same crap over and over. No one wants to go out and do stuff. I don't want to go by myself so I stick with them. So many things have gone wrong this summer and who can I tell? No one. Because no one expects it from me and they get weirded out when I speak like a normal fucking human being. well i'm tired of it. and I'm just plain tired too. Rahmin moved into his new place which was awesome. I helped him move and put shit together from Ikea along with his dad. I didn't mind that...Rahmin at least knows I can be serious. But I even have a hard time talking to him. Jessica doesn't want to hear about my issues if they include anyone she doesn't want to hear gossip about. Kelsey I rarely see. Megan is in Spain and has enough worries. So I shut up, which seems to be what everyone wants anyway. I'll be happy when I leave the country. At least then I can help people and be myself without being thought weird or "too serious" or some other nonsense.